The 'What Have We Done ?' Moment

It is happening every day, every hour of every day, that dreadful sinking feeling that you have made a horrible mistake. We should never have left Oman, we were happy there, weren't we ? Truth be told, we weren't, not for a long time. I have to force myself to not panic about the huge cut in salary we have just taken, the fact that we are going to have to pay tax for the first time in 9 years, that the boys are going to go to state school and remember why we have done what we have done. 

We hope for a more normal life, but does that include worrying about money all the time ? People assume that because we have been living in the Middle East for 9 years, we are rolling in the cash, we aren't, we never have been, James has never had the kind of job that pays huge salaries and with the downturn of the world economy the better paid positions in the construction industry became fewer and fewer and so, we have gone back to basics, gone back to where we were 10 years ago in order to allow ourselves to start a new life and it is terrifying. I am always one to stress about money, it worries me sick, all the time and I hate the fact that it will limit what we will able to do, but I am hoping that the benefits will outweigh the challenges and we will be able to enjoy a more free and easy life, let's just hope I don't have a nervous breakdown first !!! 

I remember a friend of mine who returned to the UK after a 4 year stint in Oman saying to me, 'don't ever come back to the UK, there is loads to do and loads to buy, but you can't afford any of it' well, we aren't in the UK but are we going to be in the same position ? I am sure this is just the fear of the unknown, worrying about what it is going to be like, is far worse than just getting with it and living life, that is the bit I am looking forward to. Change, that is the fear, knowing that all your friends are still on those lovely expat salaries and you aren't anymore. Our lives are going to be different and that is for sure, I just hope that they are better different rather than worse different !! 

Still, worst come to worst we can always go back to the heat, stress and lack of freedom that we experienced in the Middle East, nah, let's give this a go and make it work. Maybe it's as much a mental decision to accept a different life and enjoy living it instead of worrying about what other people have and you haven't - who knows, but we will definitely find out !